Jim Benfer

Sermo479 for Sunday 7-13-08

Scripture Reading: 1 Samuel 18:30-19:7

Jonathan “A True Friend”

Three engineers and three accountants were traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the th= ree accountants each bought tickets and watched as the three engineers bought o= nly one ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked an accountant. "Watch and you'll see", answer= ed an engineer.

They all boarded the trai= n. The accountants took their respective seats, but the three engineers all crammed into a rest room and closed the door behind them. Shortly after the train departed, the conductor came around collecting tickets. He knocked on the restroom door and said, "Ticket, please". The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. The conductor took it= and moved on. The accountants saw this and agreed it was a quite clever idea.

So, after the conference,= the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some m= oney (being clever with money, and all that). When they got to the station, they bought a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers didn't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to ride witho= ut a ticket"? said one perplexed accountant. "Watch and you'll see&quo= t;, answered an engineer. When they boarded the train, the three accountants crammed into a restroom and the three engineers crammed into another one nearby. The train departed. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers left hi= s seat and walked over to the restroom where the accountants were hiding.

He knocked on the door an= d said, "Ticket, please".[1]

We all need friends, but = we certainly need the type of friends who watch after us. That is the type of friend David f= ound in Jonathan. Scripture talks = about the difference in so-called friends and real ones, “Some friends play at friendship, but a true friend sticks cl= oser than one’s nearest kin.”[2]

When Jan Paderewski was to leave his native Poland to play his first recital in London, he as= ked an influential compatriot to give him a letter of introduction to a leading fi= gure in Britain's musical world, who might be of assistance should anything go amiss. The let= ter was handed to him in a sealed envelope. He hoped that everything would proc= eed smoothly and he would not have to use it.

He did not= ; his debut was a success and no snags developed. Some years later, while going through his papers, he came upon the letter and opened it. It read: "T= his will introduce Jan Paderewski, who plays the piano, for which he demonstrat= es no conspicuous talent." [3]

True friends are not only= a source of comfort when we are going through difficult times, but they can a= lso be sources of good counsel. B= lessed is anyone who can count on the true friends they have. Brother Bud has been talking about= the great adventure found in the Bible, and Jonathan, a true friend, comes acro= ss as a personal hero. I believe= we can learn some lessons from his life and find blessing for our own relationships.

The first lesson is in how to choose your friends. The good news is that the Bibl= e is full of admonitions about who not to choose for a friend. Psalm 1 begins, “Happy are those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, = or take the path that sinners tread, or sit in the seat of scoffers;”[4] In other words, choose some reputa= ble friends that you would always be proud to be found in the company of.

The proverbs give additio= nal counsel, “A gossip reveals se= crets; therefore do not associate with a babbler.”[5] And this, “Make no= friends with those given to anger, and do not associate with hotheads, or you may l= earn their ways and entangle yourself in a snare.”[6]

Proverbs 23:20-21 adds th= is, “Do not be among winebibbers, or= among gluttonous eaters of meat; for the drunkard and the glutton will come to poverty, and drowsiness will clothe them with rags.” Or perhaps, “Like a war club, a sword, or a sharp arrow is one who bears false witness against a neighbor. Like a bad tooth, or a lame foot is trust in a faithless person in t= ime of trouble.”[7]

There is indeed a host of foolish friends we might invite into our trust. But perhaps the most heartfelt appeal from scripture to pick well yo= ur friends is Proverbs 1:10-19, “= ;My child, if sinners entice you, do not consent. If they say, “Come with us, = let us lie in wait for blood let us wantonly ambush the innocent; like Sheol let us swallow them alive and whole, like those who go down to the Pit. We shall find all kinds of costly things; we shall fill our houses with booty. Throw in your lot among us; we wil= l all have one purse”—my child, do not walk in their way, keep your f= oot from their paths; for their feet run to evil, and they hurry to shed blood. For in vain is the net baited while the bird is looking on; yet they lie in wait—to kill the= mselves! And set an ambush—for their = own lives! Such is the end off al= l who are greedy for gain; it takes away the life of its possessors.”<= /o:p>

It just makes good sense that the scriptures tell us that true friends will not lead you to trouble or ruin. The friends we need are those who will watch over us and strengthen = us from the storehouses of their understanding and wisdom. Most of all, we need righteous fri= ends who fear God. “Those who despise the word bring destr= uction on themselves, but those who respect the commandment will be rewarded. The teaching of the wise is a foun= tain of life, so that one may avoid the snares of death.”[8]<= o:p>

Jonathan fills the requirement of true friend to David because he fea= rs God and lets his conscience guide him to help David in unjust circumstances. Even under the= threats of his father, the king, Jonathan risks his own family relationship to speak the truth for someone he loves.

The second lesson is a= bout maintaining a friendship. Jonathan didn’t allow his father’s bullying to break his friendship. However, there are many things we = can do that will disrupt our friendships. Let me list a few:

·       Re= peating everything you hear (breaking confidences)

·       Ge= tting into senseless arguments (letting your pride get the best of you)

·       Me= ddling in other’s affairs

·       Pl= aying pranks

·       St= retching the truth about others

·       Be= ing contentious

·       En= gaging in insincere flattery[9]<= ![endif]>

It’s not fair to make a list of bad habits unless I can also of= fer some good habits that will help you in your friendships.<= /p>
·       Be= slow to anger

·       Be= slow to speak

·       Av= oid quarreling

·       Sp= eak gently

·       Sp= eak briefly

·       Be= quick to show love

·       Wh= en necessary, rebuke rather than flatter[10]=

What is a friend? Friends are people with whom you dare to be yourself. Your soul can= be bared with them. They ask you to put on nothing, only to be what you are. They do= not want you to be better or worse. When you are with them, you feel as a priso= ner feels who has been declared innocent. You do not have to be on your guard. = You can say what you think, as long as it is genuinely you. Friends understand those contradictions in your nature that lead others to misjudge you. With = them you breathe freely. You can avow your little vanities and envies and hates = and vicious sparks, your meanness and absurdities, and in opening them up to friends, they are lost, dissolved on the wide ocean of their loyalty. They understand. You do not have to be careful. You can abuse them, neglect them, tolerate them. Best of all, you can keep still with them. It makes no matte= r. They like you. They are like fire that purges to the bone. They understand.= You can weep with them, sing with them, laugh with them, pray with them. Throug= h it all--and underneath--they see, know, and love you. A friend? What is a frie= nd? Just one, I repeat, with whom you dare to be yourself.[11]

Jonathan is an example of applying the wisdom of scripture to the liv= es around him so that others could know blessing. This applies to his father, who mi= ght still repent of his evil and be restored, and of David, who didn’t ha= ve an idea of the evil plotted against him.&n= bsp; When we apply the wisdom of God found in his word we can be assured = that we will enjoy the blessings of having good friends in this life, and we can look forward to enjoying these dear friends in life eternal!

The last lesson is abo= ut our best friend. This is the friend who sticks closer th= an a kinsman, or brother—depending on the translation you use. Jesus is that friend. Jesus is the friend who loved us w= ith God’s expansive love—a love so large that he would die for us.<= span style=3D'mso-spacerun:yes'> “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.”[12]

This past January one of my best friends died. My brother David’s physical = life was ended by an enemy we know as cancer.&n= bsp; I could choose to become bitter or despondent about the seeming unfairness of life, but I know that in God’s great plan, even this lo= ss will be restored. That is bec= ause I know a friend closer than my brother. His name is Jesus.

Jesus is t= he model of what a true friend should be.&nbs= p; This is someone who at once knowing all your shortcomings and sin, is still ready to accept you, help you, and restore you. He is there for us when others des= ert us.

Jackie Rob= inson was the first black to play major league baseball. Breaking baseball's color barrier, he faced jeering crowds in every stadium. While playing one day in= his home stadium in Brooklyn, he committed an error. The fans began to ridicule him. He stood at second base, humiliated, while the fans jeered. Then, shortstop Pee Wee Reese came over and stood ne= xt to him. He put his arm around Jackie Robinson and faced the crowd. The fans grew quiet. Robinson later said that arm around his shoulder saved his care= er. [13]

In this life our enemies, and even the demons laugh and hiss at us, sneering when we make mistakes or willingly blunder into sin. However, God in Christ Jesus has c= ome out to stare down our accusers, put his arm around us and save our life if = we will have him as our friend. = God has given us the best friend we could ever know and if we follow his comman= ds, we will know the best friends we can ever have in this life and in the one = to come. That promise and reward= comes with a duty given us from God—for us to be friends in return. “You are my friends if you do whatever I command you.”[14]=

The Great Commission sends us into the world to teach others the love= of God and the Way, the Truth, and the Life.&= nbsp; Now perhaps you haven’t always been the best friend of others,= or perhaps right now someone in your life is wounded because you have abused t= heir confidence. The good news is = that Jesus Christ, our true friend seeks a reconciliation. While it is yet today, it is not t= oo late to apologize and take the steps to build their trust in you back. What they need, and what you need = is a friend. You are Jesus’ friends if you do what he commands you.&nb= sp; In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen!